1 00:00:04,919 --> 00:00:06,389 Get them to cut it out of me, Rob. 2 00:00:06,719 --> 00:00:08,879 Caesarean me, please! It's not too late! 3 00:00:08,919 --> 00:00:10,799 It's too late. You're crowning. 4 00:00:10,839 --> 00:00:12,239 Push it back in and cut it out! 5 00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:14,119 Three people who live in this house wear nappies. 6 00:00:14,169 --> 00:00:16,529 - I'm one of them. - You haven't bonded with the baby? 7 00:00:16,539 --> 00:00:17,999 - No. - Do you think you might have 8 00:00:18,039 --> 00:00:19,519 a little postnatal depression? 9 00:00:19,559 --> 00:00:20,839 Rob, do you think it's about time for me 10 00:00:20,879 --> 00:00:21,959 to pop to IKEA? 11 00:00:24,479 --> 00:00:25,659 So you're finding 12 00:00:25,699 --> 00:00:27,719 your current circumstances difficult? 13 00:00:27,759 --> 00:00:29,279 Yeah. No. 14 00:00:29,319 --> 00:00:31,119 I mean, they're not, 15 00:00:31,159 --> 00:00:32,999 they're not difficult on paper. 16 00:00:33,039 --> 00:00:35,719 I hate them, but there are people all over the world 17 00:00:35,759 --> 00:00:38,479 who have it tougher than me. You know, like... 18 00:00:38,919 --> 00:00:40,919 I mean, I can't think of anyone now, but, 19 00:00:40,959 --> 00:00:42,439 I don't know, Greek people. 20 00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:44,159 And your husband? 21 00:00:44,199 --> 00:00:45,919 Are you able to tell him how you feel? 22 00:00:45,959 --> 00:00:48,919 Yeah, well, you know, I-- I-- I tell him, 23 00:00:48,959 --> 00:00:50,639 but he's-- he's tired. 24 00:00:50,679 --> 00:00:54,039 He works a lot, and we've got two kids under the age of 3. 25 00:00:54,779 --> 00:01:00,079 I'd say he thinks about the kids, then work, then sleep, 26 00:01:00,489 --> 00:01:01,919 and then me or taking a shit. 27 00:01:02,419 --> 00:01:04,719 I probably feature in his thoughts right after the toilet 28 00:01:04,759 --> 00:01:06,219 and just before a book about Hitler. 29 00:01:06,919 --> 00:01:09,199 Oh, he likes to read about World War II. 30 00:01:09,239 --> 00:01:11,519 He's not a bad person. He's-- 31 00:01:11,559 --> 00:01:13,479 Just imagine a nice enough guy taking a shit 32 00:01:13,519 --> 00:01:14,959 and reading about Hitler, and that's my husband. 33 00:01:15,479 --> 00:01:16,679 Okay. 34 00:01:16,719 --> 00:01:19,079 And you said there's no suicidal ideation? 35 00:01:19,119 --> 00:01:20,349 No. 36 00:01:20,429 --> 00:01:22,359 I mean, I do think about dying, 37 00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:24,479 but in a kind of abstract way-- 38 00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,719 you know, like, sometimes I imagine a meteor 39 00:01:26,759 --> 00:01:28,799 hitting the house and killing me and the kids. 40 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,399 What about your husband? 41 00:01:31,269 --> 00:01:33,559 I don't know. If he's home. I don't care. 42 00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:38,039 So I thought maybe some pills? 43 00:01:45,799 --> 00:01:47,319 Hey, how was that? 44 00:01:47,359 --> 00:01:49,039 It was good. It was fine. 45 00:01:49,079 --> 00:01:51,159 It was good that you didn't come in with me, though, 46 00:01:51,199 --> 00:01:52,959 because I was really able to rip into you. 47 00:01:52,999 --> 00:01:54,079 Well, that's great, honey. 48 00:01:54,119 --> 00:01:55,279 Did you get it all out, 49 00:01:55,319 --> 00:01:56,519 or will I still get to listen 50 00:01:56,559 --> 00:01:59,039 to your nightly screed at 11:15 p.m.? 51 00:01:59,079 --> 00:02:00,759 Well, that depends on you, cowboy. 52 00:02:00,799 --> 00:02:04,279 Oh, did she prescribe that you let me fuck you 53 00:02:04,319 --> 00:02:05,719 for the first time since February? 54 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,759 No, but she prescribed me some pills 55 00:02:07,799 --> 00:02:10,039 that she said could make me more receptive to sex 56 00:02:10,079 --> 00:02:12,399 but less able to enjoy it. 57 00:02:12,439 --> 00:02:13,959 Was that a riddle? 58 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:26,839 Are you really just pissing? 59 00:02:26,879 --> 00:02:28,479 Because I can smell McDonald's. 60 00:02:28,519 --> 00:02:29,879 Jesus. 61 00:02:32,679 --> 00:02:35,679 One taxi driver-sized dump all changed. 62 00:02:35,719 --> 00:02:37,799 - What time are you back? - 6 or 7. 63 00:02:37,839 --> 00:02:39,679 Probably 7. How are you feeling? 64 00:02:39,719 --> 00:02:41,919 Yeah, pretty good. You know, kind of even. 65 00:02:41,959 --> 00:02:44,129 Like borderline nothing, but in a good way. 66 00:02:44,179 --> 00:02:45,279 What are you doing today? 67 00:02:45,319 --> 00:02:46,948 Baby drums and then Mummy and Me. 68 00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,279 God, I hate even saying that. 69 00:02:48,319 --> 00:02:50,359 And then probably go and get a coffee with Sam, 70 00:02:50,399 --> 00:02:52,119 talk about the other mums in the group. 71 00:02:52,159 --> 00:02:54,599 Sam calls them "mombies." You know, like, zombies? 72 00:02:55,999 --> 00:02:57,839 - That's great, honey. - I know. 73 00:02:58,959 --> 00:03:01,439 ♪ Incy-wincy spider 74 00:03:01,479 --> 00:03:04,279 ♪ Climbed up the water spout 75 00:03:04,319 --> 00:03:05,639 ♪ Down came... 76 00:03:05,679 --> 00:03:06,749 I'm trying not to travel around 77 00:03:06,779 --> 00:03:07,919 with my little hemorrhoid cushion, 78 00:03:07,929 --> 00:03:09,959 but sitting on this cold floor is like, ow. 79 00:03:09,999 --> 00:03:11,639 I had a C section. 80 00:03:11,679 --> 00:03:12,879 Oh, cool. 81 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:15,039 ♪ And dried up all the rain 82 00:03:15,079 --> 00:03:17,559 Have you seen the mum with the big brown eyes? Sam? 83 00:03:17,599 --> 00:03:19,569 She usually sits with me. Samantha? 84 00:03:19,609 --> 00:03:20,999 - No, sorry. - No? 85 00:03:21,499 --> 00:03:24,279 Maybe she quit because she got tired of looking at her camel toe. 86 00:03:24,319 --> 00:03:27,599 ♪ Incy-wincy spider climbed up the water spout ♪ 87 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:32,839 ♪ Down came the rain and washed the spider out ♪ 88 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,439 I hate myself. 89 00:03:42,039 --> 00:03:43,479 Want to come and see these mums? 90 00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:44,539 No. 91 00:03:47,539 --> 00:03:49,489 What's going on with you crazy bitches? 92 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,809 We were just seeing if we could get a group together 93 00:03:54,839 --> 00:03:56,119 to see Paloma Faith. 94 00:03:56,139 --> 00:03:57,359 Ah, Paloma Faith. 95 00:03:57,799 --> 00:03:59,399 I'm more of a Taylor Swift girl. 96 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,199 - I love Taylor Swift. - I'm kidding. She makes me barf. 97 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,119 My husband likes Paloma Faith. 98 00:04:05,159 --> 00:04:07,479 - Ah. - He thinks she looks dirty. 99 00:04:07,519 --> 00:04:09,559 Not dirty like she doesn't wash. 100 00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:11,239 He just thinks she looks like she'd be up for, 101 00:04:11,279 --> 00:04:12,439 you know, whatever? 102 00:04:14,759 --> 00:04:17,879 Where's Sam? She's normally here on a Tuesday. 103 00:04:17,919 --> 00:04:19,199 Was she here last week? 104 00:04:19,239 --> 00:04:21,129 Samantha? She's gone back to work, I think. 105 00:04:21,139 --> 00:04:22,399 She what? 106 00:04:22,439 --> 00:04:24,079 I think she said last week she was going back to work. 107 00:04:24,119 --> 00:04:25,879 Well, you think or she said? Which is it? 108 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,279 I'm pretty sure she said. 109 00:04:29,319 --> 00:04:31,719 Right. Right. 110 00:04:33,309 --> 00:04:34,959 Paloma Faith. 111 00:04:34,999 --> 00:04:37,199 Be funny to say that after someone sneezes. 112 00:04:37,239 --> 00:04:40,559 Achoo. Paloma Faith. Thank you. 113 00:04:40,599 --> 00:04:42,309 We should start that. 114 00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:48,399 Ed 856965. 115 00:04:48,439 --> 00:04:49,759 Hey, is Mallandra there? 116 00:04:49,799 --> 00:04:51,879 - Who? - Mallandra. Your wife. 117 00:04:51,919 --> 00:04:54,159 I know who she is. Why the fuck do you want to talk to her? 118 00:04:54,199 --> 00:04:56,439 - I want to talk to a mother. - Talk to me. I'm your brother. 119 00:04:56,449 --> 00:04:57,459 I want to talk to a woman 120 00:04:57,489 --> 00:04:59,439 who's been afflicted with child by a man. 121 00:04:59,479 --> 00:05:01,039 No. I don't want you getting her all worked up. 122 00:05:01,079 --> 00:05:02,199 She's happy with her lot. 123 00:05:02,239 --> 00:05:03,759 What are you, her fucking gatekeeper? 124 00:05:03,799 --> 00:05:05,119 - Put her on the phone. - She's not here. 125 00:05:05,159 --> 00:05:06,279 Oh, you're so annoying. 126 00:05:06,299 --> 00:05:07,309 Listen, while I have you, 127 00:05:07,319 --> 00:05:09,029 we need to talk about what you're going to do about Dad 128 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,279 because I don't have time this month. 129 00:05:10,299 --> 00:05:12,199 Boop. 130 00:05:12,239 --> 00:05:13,479 Fuck off. 131 00:05:15,599 --> 00:05:16,799 Dickhead. 132 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:18,159 Hi. 133 00:05:18,199 --> 00:05:19,799 Hey, Fran. Sorry, I-- 134 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:21,599 Can't talk now. Chris is leaving. 135 00:05:21,639 --> 00:05:23,519 - He what? - It's fine. It's just temporary. 136 00:05:23,559 --> 00:05:25,479 - It's not temporary. - Let's catch up soon. 137 00:05:25,519 --> 00:05:26,519 Well, um, okay. 138 00:05:31,559 --> 00:05:33,639 No, we're renaming it-- 139 00:05:33,659 --> 00:05:36,559 ...and it's going to be an oval pill instead of round, 140 00:05:36,599 --> 00:05:37,919 and it's a completely different package 141 00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:40,209 so now we can market it to cancer people-- 142 00:05:40,249 --> 00:05:41,279 patients. 143 00:05:42,019 --> 00:05:44,399 What? No. I don't golf. 144 00:05:44,439 --> 00:05:45,799 All right. Take it easy, Ken. 145 00:05:46,419 --> 00:05:47,559 Jesus! 146 00:05:47,599 --> 00:05:49,519 Do women get asked to golf all the time? 147 00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:51,759 We get asked to mentor Indian guys' daughters a lot. 148 00:05:51,799 --> 00:05:52,869 At least that makes sense. 149 00:05:52,879 --> 00:05:54,489 Which is interesting because I'm Iranian. 150 00:05:54,539 --> 00:05:56,199 Right. Of course. 151 00:05:56,239 --> 00:05:59,199 Rob, I wanted to introduce Olivia Vasseur. 152 00:05:59,239 --> 00:06:02,159 Olivia has been in our Paris office but is moving to London 153 00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:05,079 and will be running international research initiatives for us. 154 00:06:05,119 --> 00:06:06,919 - Hello. - Rob Norris. 155 00:06:06,959 --> 00:06:09,389 I try to make people buy drugs. 156 00:06:09,409 --> 00:06:10,879 He's being falsely modest. 157 00:06:10,919 --> 00:06:13,159 I hired Rob to clean up a PR mess a few years ago, 158 00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,879 and I've yet to meet a drug since that he can't sell. 159 00:06:15,919 --> 00:06:17,079 Heroin, maybe? 160 00:06:17,119 --> 00:06:18,799 You'll have to carry a gun. 161 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:20,639 Yeah. I don't want to carry a gun. 162 00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:22,879 They're really heavy, and I travel light. 163 00:06:24,299 --> 00:06:25,829 You ever fired a gun? 164 00:06:26,679 --> 00:06:28,559 I don't know why I'm asking you that. 165 00:06:28,599 --> 00:06:30,399 Yes, I'm good at selling drugs, 166 00:06:30,439 --> 00:06:32,199 and I'm glad you work here now. 167 00:06:32,239 --> 00:06:33,279 Me, too. 168 00:06:41,439 --> 00:06:43,359 I haven't seen you wear that shirt to work before. 169 00:06:43,399 --> 00:06:44,799 This shirt? 170 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,969 Huh. Isn't it more of an evening shirt? 171 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:49,159 I guess it's a little dangerous. 172 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:50,819 Does it look stupid? 173 00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:52,119 No, it's cute. 174 00:06:52,159 --> 00:06:53,239 And, you know, if you fancy it, 175 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,319 you can always nip out 176 00:06:54,329 --> 00:06:55,629 and play a little snooker at lunchtime. 177 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,479 I think I'm going to stop producing milk. 178 00:07:01,519 --> 00:07:02,519 Why? 179 00:07:03,059 --> 00:07:04,199 Because. 180 00:07:04,239 --> 00:07:05,639 I can't smoke pot anymore. 181 00:07:05,679 --> 00:07:06,679 You don't smoke pot. 182 00:07:06,709 --> 00:07:08,079 Well, I want to start. 183 00:07:08,119 --> 00:07:10,129 I've been thinking about it, and I want to start smoking pot. 184 00:07:10,149 --> 00:07:11,379 I think it will help me chill out. 185 00:07:11,679 --> 00:07:13,759 - Just meditate or something. - Fuck off. 186 00:07:13,799 --> 00:07:15,639 Okay. Maybe you should smoke pot. 187 00:07:15,679 --> 00:07:17,119 I would like the option of being 188 00:07:17,159 --> 00:07:18,799 more than 15 feet away from Muireann 189 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,439 for more than 15 minutes. 190 00:07:20,479 --> 00:07:22,399 Have you seen the way she looks at me now? 191 00:07:22,439 --> 00:07:24,319 I'm just a giant tit to her. 192 00:07:24,339 --> 00:07:26,239 Also, have you seen my nipples recently? 193 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,799 They're not pink anymore. They're not even red. 194 00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:31,319 - They're black. - They're not black. 195 00:07:31,359 --> 00:07:32,429 Okay, they're brown. 196 00:07:32,459 --> 00:07:33,559 Who cares? 197 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,039 The baby still wants to suck them. 198 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,359 I still want to suck them. 199 00:07:36,699 --> 00:07:37,959 We don't care what color they are. 200 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,359 I care. 201 00:07:39,399 --> 00:07:41,519 Hey. Have you seen my balls lately? 202 00:07:41,559 --> 00:07:43,079 I don't look at them. 203 00:07:43,119 --> 00:07:44,479 You shouldn't have to. 204 00:07:45,919 --> 00:07:47,359 May I? 205 00:07:47,399 --> 00:07:48,719 Go for it. 206 00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:51,399 I just-- I want to have a little look, 207 00:07:51,439 --> 00:07:53,839 and then, in a platonic, medical way, 208 00:07:53,879 --> 00:07:55,079 see what they taste like. 209 00:07:55,119 --> 00:07:56,679 - I haven't had a wash. - Good. 210 00:07:56,719 --> 00:07:58,329 You smell like onions. 211 00:07:58,639 --> 00:08:01,999 Okay. I guess I'll go suck some tits on the bus, then. 212 00:08:03,479 --> 00:08:05,279 Russian ones. 213 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,079 Bye. 214 00:08:21,439 --> 00:08:23,559 Sam. Sam. 215 00:08:23,599 --> 00:08:25,719 - Hi. - Hi. Hello. 216 00:08:25,759 --> 00:08:27,319 Sorry. It fell on-- 217 00:08:27,359 --> 00:08:29,069 - How are you? - I'm good. 218 00:08:29,129 --> 00:08:30,359 I'm great. 219 00:08:30,399 --> 00:08:32,359 What's going on? I heard you're back at work. 220 00:08:32,399 --> 00:08:34,119 Yeah, yeah, I went back to work this week. 221 00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:36,039 The company have a nursery on site. 222 00:08:36,079 --> 00:08:38,179 They actually encourage you to bring your babies. 223 00:08:38,259 --> 00:08:40,799 - Oh, that's nice for you. - Yeah. 224 00:08:40,839 --> 00:08:42,279 God, it's so good to see you! 225 00:08:42,319 --> 00:08:43,559 I was at Mummy and Me, 226 00:08:43,599 --> 00:08:44,799 and I was like, "Where is she? 227 00:08:44,839 --> 00:08:46,939 Where is my Mummy and Me bestie?" 228 00:08:46,989 --> 00:08:48,519 I had to hang out with the mombies. 229 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,709 Oh, no. Not the mombies. 230 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,919 God. I couldn't go back there. 231 00:08:52,959 --> 00:08:54,249 I think maybe I didn't fit in 232 00:08:54,259 --> 00:08:55,309 because I haven't had a lobotomy. 233 00:08:55,359 --> 00:08:58,599 Yeah, no. I haven't, either-- had a lobotomy. 234 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,279 You were the only normal one there. 235 00:09:01,059 --> 00:09:02,729 Thank you. 236 00:09:03,079 --> 00:09:04,189 I remember you saying 237 00:09:04,199 --> 00:09:06,319 that you used to work in Spitalfields, so... 238 00:09:06,359 --> 00:09:08,159 I mean, not that that's why I, you know... 239 00:09:08,639 --> 00:09:11,039 I was shopping. I bought a book. 240 00:09:11,079 --> 00:09:13,099 Ah, yes. I've heard this is supposed to be great. 241 00:09:13,159 --> 00:09:14,159 I should read this. 242 00:09:14,199 --> 00:09:15,599 Yeah, just have it. Just take it. 243 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,359 You're so funny. 244 00:09:17,399 --> 00:09:20,119 I should be getting back, but here. 245 00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:21,359 Give me your number. I'll give you a call. 246 00:09:21,369 --> 00:09:22,799 Okay. Great. 247 00:09:22,839 --> 00:09:24,879 No, I was going to say that we should do that. 248 00:09:24,919 --> 00:09:26,649 We should just go for a beer or just a wine 249 00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,319 or, you know, a cocktail or something. 250 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:29,679 Yeah, no, definitely. 251 00:09:29,719 --> 00:09:31,799 I don't seem to have the same support network 252 00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,999 I had when, you know, when I had Frankie. 253 00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:37,239 A lot of the mums I met then, they went back to work 254 00:09:37,279 --> 00:09:39,239 while we immediately got me pregnant again, 255 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,279 since all we do is get me pregnant. 256 00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:42,839 What are we, farmers? 257 00:09:42,879 --> 00:09:44,559 What were we thinking? 258 00:09:46,479 --> 00:09:47,839 God, it's good to talk. 259 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,559 Well, look, I'll give you a call. 260 00:09:49,599 --> 00:09:51,639 Yeah, call me now so your number comes up. 261 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:52,999 Yeah. Okay. 262 00:09:54,439 --> 00:09:55,799 Okay. 263 00:09:55,839 --> 00:09:57,399 What are you doing tomorrow night? 264 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,079 What are you doing? 265 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:06,719 What's goin' on? 266 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,029 Hello, Rob. 267 00:10:11,519 --> 00:10:12,679 Mm. 268 00:10:12,719 --> 00:10:13,909 It's a good sandwich? 269 00:10:14,279 --> 00:10:15,519 Yeah. Sort of just-- 270 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:16,759 And another sandwich 271 00:10:16,799 --> 00:10:18,319 for when you finish your first sandwich. 272 00:10:18,359 --> 00:10:20,079 - Yep. - You're a growing boy. 273 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,159 Mm-hmm. 274 00:10:21,199 --> 00:10:22,359 Doors opening. 275 00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:23,519 See you later, Pippa. 276 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:24,839 Pippa? 277 00:10:24,879 --> 00:10:26,679 - The children's pig. - Oh. 278 00:10:26,719 --> 00:10:28,439 Doors closing. 279 00:10:32,439 --> 00:10:34,959 Wow, your dick feels really good against my back 280 00:10:34,999 --> 00:10:36,409 because the tip of it's wet. 281 00:10:37,199 --> 00:10:39,079 Is the tip of your pussy wet? 282 00:10:39,119 --> 00:10:40,479 No. 283 00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:42,279 Well, I don't even have to put it in. 284 00:10:42,319 --> 00:10:43,959 I can just pop it between your thighs, 285 00:10:43,999 --> 00:10:45,599 and then, if you get turned on, then-- 286 00:10:45,639 --> 00:10:46,919 I'm not gonna get turned on. 287 00:10:47,599 --> 00:10:49,159 You can't predict the future. 288 00:10:49,789 --> 00:10:51,839 Why do you even want to have sex with me? 289 00:10:51,879 --> 00:10:53,439 I wouldn't want to have sex with me. 290 00:10:53,479 --> 00:10:55,809 I'm just a cow in a dressing down. 291 00:10:56,879 --> 00:10:58,919 You're so much hotter than a cow. 292 00:11:00,959 --> 00:11:04,479 Oh, God. Okay, you can do it between my thighs, 293 00:11:04,519 --> 00:11:06,439 but just come on your own stomach. 294 00:11:07,399 --> 00:11:10,799 You drive a hard bargain, but I agree to your terms. 295 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,439 Damn, Jordan. 296 00:11:21,479 --> 00:11:22,879 I'm passionate about sports. 297 00:11:22,919 --> 00:11:24,079 Me, too. 298 00:11:27,159 --> 00:11:28,639 Maybe we should cycle 299 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:30,119 or power lift together. 300 00:11:30,159 --> 00:11:34,759 Yeah. Um, how's it going here? 301 00:11:34,799 --> 00:11:36,119 Are you settling in okay? 302 00:11:36,139 --> 00:11:37,759 Yeah. Whatever. 303 00:11:37,799 --> 00:11:40,319 Although a lot of people who work here are idiots. 304 00:11:40,359 --> 00:11:41,879 Yeah. 305 00:11:41,919 --> 00:11:43,359 I mean, I'm an idiot, 306 00:11:43,399 --> 00:11:45,999 but I kind of wound up working here by mistake. 307 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,359 But some mistakes are happy. 308 00:11:50,759 --> 00:11:52,639 That's so sweet. 309 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,719 You speak French like a little German boy. 310 00:11:55,469 --> 00:11:58,279 Well, I'm going to go be an idiot back in my office. 311 00:11:58,319 --> 00:12:00,039 - I'll see you later. - Okay. 312 00:12:00,079 --> 00:12:01,479 Ciao, idiot. 313 00:12:04,999 --> 00:12:06,399 - Hey, Giles. - Hello. 314 00:12:10,759 --> 00:12:12,759 Fucking Christ. 315 00:12:21,959 --> 00:12:24,959 I think being a stay-at-home is not for me. 316 00:12:24,999 --> 00:12:26,599 You know, I just-- I feel like a prisoner. 317 00:12:26,639 --> 00:12:29,479 I'm seeing a therapist now, so it'll be fine. 318 00:12:29,519 --> 00:12:32,239 I've got pills, but I feel numb now, but in a good way. 319 00:12:32,279 --> 00:12:34,399 - Sounds nice. - Mmm. 320 00:12:34,439 --> 00:12:36,799 And I'm more open to the idea of sex with Rob. 321 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:39,079 Remember we were talking about that? And baby drums? 322 00:12:39,119 --> 00:12:42,039 Oh, my God! Baby drums, kill me! 323 00:12:42,079 --> 00:12:43,879 Yeah. What about you and your husband? 324 00:12:43,919 --> 00:12:45,639 - What, you mean sex? - Yeah. 325 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:48,879 Um, it's just back to how it was. 326 00:12:48,919 --> 00:12:50,329 Back to how it was before? 327 00:12:52,079 --> 00:12:53,839 Because in the beginning, Rob and I were like-- 328 00:12:53,879 --> 00:12:55,399 we were like teenagers. 329 00:12:55,439 --> 00:12:57,599 We did stuff I haven't even seen online, 330 00:12:57,639 --> 00:12:59,159 and now it's like a lesbian deathbed. 331 00:12:59,199 --> 00:13:01,439 We had sex the other night for the first time in... 332 00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:04,279 two and a half months. It wasn't even full sex. 333 00:13:04,319 --> 00:13:06,039 It was, you know, more like sort of frottage. 334 00:13:06,079 --> 00:13:07,479 Do you want another drink? 335 00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:09,439 I should probably-- I've got to meet my cousin. 336 00:13:09,479 --> 00:13:11,279 Aw! Okay, well, look, 337 00:13:11,319 --> 00:13:13,119 do you want to get something proper in the diary? 338 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:14,879 My husband's company have-- 339 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:18,039 Well, the employees have access to this villa in Cornwall. 340 00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:20,799 They have a Jacuzzi there and, like, a kitchen garden. 341 00:13:20,839 --> 00:13:22,199 - There's a Jacuzzi. - Wow. 342 00:13:22,239 --> 00:13:23,799 So maybe we can get our families together 343 00:13:23,839 --> 00:13:25,999 and have a long weekend there? Maybe Easter weekend? 344 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,639 Well, I'd need to check with Alan first, but, um, 345 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:30,089 yeah. Let me get my drink. 346 00:13:30,129 --> 00:13:31,439 No, don't be silly. I'll get it. 347 00:13:31,479 --> 00:13:33,879 You get the next one in Cornwall! Check with Alan. 348 00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:35,439 - Let me know what he says. - Yeah. Okay. 349 00:13:35,479 --> 00:13:36,479 All right. 350 00:13:38,479 --> 00:13:40,839 You fucking pervert! 351 00:13:40,879 --> 00:13:43,359 Oh, he's acting all holier-than-thou, 352 00:13:43,399 --> 00:13:44,719 and now you're a toilet fucker. 353 00:13:44,759 --> 00:13:46,519 I am not-- I don't fuck the toilet. 354 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,519 Well, do you come into the toilet? 355 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:49,719 Yeah. 356 00:13:49,759 --> 00:13:51,279 You're a toilet fucker. 357 00:13:51,319 --> 00:13:53,599 Okay, well, then, you can see why I need a meeting. 358 00:13:53,639 --> 00:13:56,439 Well, I go every day, so just let me know. I'll go with you. 359 00:13:56,479 --> 00:13:58,599 You know, meetings can really offer a framework. 360 00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:01,159 Don't fucking offer to framework me! 361 00:14:01,199 --> 00:14:02,919 You've been sober for half an hour. 362 00:14:02,959 --> 00:14:04,879 Dude, I've been sober for three months 363 00:14:04,919 --> 00:14:06,479 for the first time since I was 12. 364 00:14:06,519 --> 00:14:08,089 No, I'm sorry. That's great. 365 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:09,439 Plus I've had the good luck 366 00:14:09,479 --> 00:14:11,639 to scoop up a tasty piece of ass 367 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:13,599 that belongs to a lovely sober lady 368 00:14:13,639 --> 00:14:15,639 that I may be falling in love with. 369 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,239 - What? - Catherine. 370 00:14:17,279 --> 00:14:20,199 She's like a beacon of health and recovery. 371 00:14:20,239 --> 00:14:22,239 Plus she did a lot of disgusting things 372 00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,479 - before she got sober. - Okay, well-- 373 00:14:24,519 --> 00:14:26,719 She owns a fucking hedge fund, but eight years ago. 374 00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:30,199 She was a hooker in Marrakech. 375 00:14:30,239 --> 00:14:32,039 How fucking great is that? 376 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,799 I mean, not for her then. It was terrible, 377 00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:36,359 - but for me now-- - Dave, listen, 378 00:14:36,399 --> 00:14:38,879 you are like a delicate flower right now-- 379 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,479 Aw, thanks man! 380 00:14:40,519 --> 00:14:43,279 ...and you need to be in a greenhouse 381 00:14:43,319 --> 00:14:44,539 where you can get your shit together 382 00:14:44,569 --> 00:14:46,559 for a little while before you jump into anything. 383 00:14:46,639 --> 00:14:49,039 Okay, well, I'll take that on board. 384 00:14:50,159 --> 00:14:51,239 Toilet fucker. 385 00:15:24,199 --> 00:15:26,879 - Hiya. - Hey! Are you-- 386 00:15:26,919 --> 00:15:29,039 - Didn't we say 1 p.m.? - Oh, God. 387 00:15:29,079 --> 00:15:30,639 Sorry. I thought it was a loose arrangement. 388 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,439 - I had lunch here. - Oh! 389 00:15:32,479 --> 00:15:35,039 Okay. Well, should I pop over anyway? 390 00:15:35,079 --> 00:15:36,599 I mean, I'm in Spitalfields. 391 00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:38,519 Oh, no, no. Sorry. I have a ton of work. 392 00:15:38,559 --> 00:15:39,799 Sorry. I feel bad. 393 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,519 No, don't worry. I'll just-- 394 00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:43,639 Are you still on for that dance thing tomorrow night? 395 00:15:43,679 --> 00:15:45,799 Uh, Let me check with Alan, but it should be fine. 396 00:15:45,839 --> 00:15:48,079 Okay, great. Well, I'll see you then, my friend. 397 00:15:48,119 --> 00:15:50,079 Actually, hang on. Wait. 398 00:15:50,119 --> 00:15:53,599 I'm-- I'm not going to make it tomorrow night. 399 00:15:53,639 --> 00:15:56,399 Okay, well, do you want me to try for Friday? 400 00:15:56,439 --> 00:15:58,359 I'm not going to make it any night, really. 401 00:16:00,599 --> 00:16:02,999 - Okay. - Look, to be honest, 402 00:16:03,039 --> 00:16:04,809 I just have too much going on, 403 00:16:04,849 --> 00:16:07,399 and I don't have time for people in my life who... 404 00:16:07,439 --> 00:16:08,679 Who what? 405 00:16:09,619 --> 00:16:11,639 Who need things. 406 00:16:12,959 --> 00:16:14,799 - Is this about the smell? - What? 407 00:16:14,839 --> 00:16:16,439 It doesn't matter. 408 00:16:16,479 --> 00:16:17,719 You said you're in therapy. 409 00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:19,239 Keep going to that. 410 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,799 Go back to Mummy And Me. 411 00:16:20,839 --> 00:16:22,079 Those mums really aren't as bad 412 00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:23,399 as you make them out to be. 413 00:16:23,429 --> 00:16:25,319 They're just... mums, 414 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,759 like you. 415 00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:28,199 But not like you? 416 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,759 Oh, okay. Um... 417 00:16:33,479 --> 00:16:34,839 fine, well, thanks for the advice. 418 00:16:34,879 --> 00:16:35,959 You are so welcome. 419 00:16:35,999 --> 00:16:37,439 Oh, did you ask Alan about Cornwall? 420 00:16:37,479 --> 00:16:38,719 What? 421 00:16:38,759 --> 00:16:39,879 I'm kidding. Fuck off! 422 00:16:50,479 --> 00:16:51,999 I had a question 423 00:16:52,039 --> 00:16:53,999 about the patents on the new Orflex synthetic. 424 00:16:54,039 --> 00:16:58,279 Ooh, uh, I have no idea. That's not really my, uh... 425 00:16:58,319 --> 00:17:00,919 - You know, I think-- - I'm just fucking with you. 426 00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:03,479 Oh. Right. 427 00:17:03,519 --> 00:17:05,559 I just thought it would be funny to pretend 428 00:17:05,599 --> 00:17:07,119 that I came here to talk about work. 429 00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,919 Um, o-okay. 430 00:17:09,959 --> 00:17:11,689 Why did you come in here? 431 00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:14,999 I notice you look at me sometimes. 432 00:17:15,039 --> 00:17:18,359 Oh. Well, yes, I-- 433 00:17:18,399 --> 00:17:20,599 I have looked at you, um, but-- 434 00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:23,329 I was curious if you'd like to look at me someplace else? 435 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:28,239 Like my flat or maybe a hotel room? 436 00:17:29,179 --> 00:17:32,499 - Oh. Oh, you mean like-- - Yeah, I mean like. 437 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:38,079 Well, listen, I mean, you know I'm married, right? 438 00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:39,459 I know you know I'm married, 439 00:17:39,509 --> 00:17:41,719 and you know I have kids with the woman I'm married to? 440 00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:43,479 I don't want to interfere with your marriage. 441 00:17:44,139 --> 00:17:45,559 I just thought-- 442 00:17:45,599 --> 00:17:47,479 Well, I saw you switch the big bottle 443 00:17:47,519 --> 00:17:49,159 in the water cooler yesterday, 444 00:17:49,199 --> 00:17:50,759 and it might as well have been a pillow. 445 00:17:50,799 --> 00:17:52,239 You make it look so light. 446 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:53,919 And I thought to myself, 447 00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:56,599 I'd like to suck his cock until he passes out. 448 00:17:58,199 --> 00:17:59,239 If that's okay with you. 449 00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:01,879 Oo-- 450 00:18:03,599 --> 00:18:04,839 I can't work here anymore. 451 00:18:04,879 --> 00:18:07,129 Lisa, can you step out, please? 452 00:18:07,639 --> 00:18:10,879 I'm quitting. I mean, it isn't safe. 453 00:18:10,919 --> 00:18:12,479 I'm a human being. 454 00:18:12,519 --> 00:18:14,239 I mean, I can't have a beautiful woman-- 455 00:18:14,279 --> 00:18:16,159 I mean, what the fuck is she? A model? 456 00:18:16,199 --> 00:18:17,639 She's, like, better-looking than a model. 457 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:18,999 she's got curves and-- 458 00:18:19,039 --> 00:18:20,959 Anyway, fuck this nonsense. I'm out of here. 459 00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:22,439 Thank you for all that you've done for me, 460 00:18:22,479 --> 00:18:24,519 but I'd like to hand in my notice. 461 00:18:25,399 --> 00:18:26,989 I don't accept your resignation. 462 00:18:27,029 --> 00:18:28,519 Well, you don't have to accept it because-- 463 00:18:28,559 --> 00:18:30,279 I asked Lisa to step out when it seemed like 464 00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:31,999 you were going to say something stupid. 465 00:18:32,039 --> 00:18:33,839 So right now, only you and I know 466 00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:36,419 you're having some kind of sexual meltdown. 467 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,519 Let's keep it that way. You do good work here. 468 00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:40,069 I want you to stay. We'll just pay you more. 469 00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:41,479 Yeah, I don't want more money. 470 00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:43,439 I can do 18,000 more a year. 471 00:18:44,719 --> 00:18:46,039 Are you serious? 472 00:18:46,079 --> 00:18:47,599 I don't think I have a reputation 473 00:18:47,639 --> 00:18:48,919 as the office comedian. 474 00:19:13,999 --> 00:19:16,319 I bonded with Muireann today. 475 00:19:17,329 --> 00:19:19,129 I was so relieved, I opened up the bottle of champagne 476 00:19:19,149 --> 00:19:20,469 that was at the back of the tins cupboard. 477 00:19:20,499 --> 00:19:21,719 That's great. 478 00:19:21,759 --> 00:19:24,959 Oh, my God, she's so fucking smart, that baby. 479 00:19:24,999 --> 00:19:26,839 I mean Frankie's smart, but he's not-- 480 00:19:27,449 --> 00:19:28,919 you know, he's not Muireann-smart. 481 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,319 - Mm-hmm. - I feel so bad 482 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:31,599 that I thought for a second that I didn't love her. 483 00:19:31,639 --> 00:19:34,199 And now I'm, like, percolating for her. 484 00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:35,959 Ha! 485 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:37,879 What's the matter with you? 486 00:19:37,919 --> 00:19:39,039 Uh, nothing. 487 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:41,479 I got a raise. 488 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,379 That's amazing! 489 00:19:43,479 --> 00:19:44,989 Oh, did you have to blow Harita? 490 00:19:46,279 --> 00:19:47,969 I got dumped today 491 00:19:48,439 --> 00:19:50,839 by my mum friend Samantha. 492 00:19:50,879 --> 00:19:52,299 She doesn't want to see me anymore. 493 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,559 I couldn't even hang on to a mum-friend. 494 00:19:55,599 --> 00:19:57,159 And it's not like she's all that. 495 00:19:57,199 --> 00:19:58,679 It's not like she's Beyonce. 496 00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,239 She said I should go and hang out with the "mombies," 497 00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:01,399 and you know what? She's right. 498 00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:03,199 Every single one of those mums 499 00:20:03,239 --> 00:20:04,959 is probably more interesting than me. 500 00:20:06,659 --> 00:20:08,249 - Rob. - What? 501 00:20:09,129 --> 00:20:10,639 What I just said. 502 00:20:10,679 --> 00:20:12,599 Are you not going to say anything? Do you not care? 503 00:20:13,759 --> 00:20:18,119 Right now I don't know that I do care about that. 504 00:20:18,159 --> 00:20:20,959 I mean, we've got two kids under the age of 3. 505 00:20:20,999 --> 00:20:23,119 My job is a nightmare, 506 00:20:23,159 --> 00:20:27,399 and those things use up all my daily care units. 507 00:20:27,439 --> 00:20:29,759 So sometimes, when you need attention 508 00:20:29,799 --> 00:20:30,879 at the end of the day, 509 00:20:30,919 --> 00:20:32,479 I've got nothing left for you. 510 00:20:32,519 --> 00:20:35,879 And I know that's not fair, but what do I do? 511 00:20:35,919 --> 00:20:39,479 You dig deep and you scrounge something up for me. 512 00:20:39,519 --> 00:20:40,639 Don't be lazy. 513 00:20:40,679 --> 00:20:41,919 What do you want me to say? 514 00:20:41,959 --> 00:20:43,559 Say she sounds like a bitch! 515 00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:44,799 She does sound like a bitch! 516 00:20:44,839 --> 00:20:46,079 I'll kill her for you. 517 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,799 Do you know how happy that would make me? 518 00:20:47,839 --> 00:20:49,759 I've got plenty of hate units left. 519 00:20:50,199 --> 00:20:52,359 You can't kill her. She's got kids. 520 00:20:52,399 --> 00:20:55,039 I'll kill them, too! Are you upset with her or not? 521 00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:56,219 Don't you know how to feud? 522 00:20:56,259 --> 00:20:57,839 You're supposed to wipe out the bloodline. 523 00:21:05,239 --> 00:21:06,999 How are you going to kill her? 524 00:21:07,039 --> 00:21:08,229 Well... 525 00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:11,279 first I'll hit her with my car. 526 00:21:14,279 --> 00:21:16,559 And then, if that doesn't work, 527 00:21:16,599 --> 00:21:18,559 I'll fucking strangle her. 528 00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:23,879 Would that turn her on? 529 00:21:23,919 --> 00:21:26,679 Ow, ow, ow. 530 00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,819 Ow, ow. 531 00:21:28,929 --> 00:21:30,599 - Ow. - Can you not-- 532 00:21:30,639 --> 00:21:32,239 Do you have to say "Ow" every time? 533 00:21:32,279 --> 00:21:35,049 Yeah. It hurts. I say "Ow" when things hurt. 534 00:21:35,089 --> 00:21:36,159 Do you want me to stop? 535 00:21:36,199 --> 00:21:37,239 No. 536 00:21:37,279 --> 00:21:38,319 Okay. 537 00:21:39,479 --> 00:21:40,479 Is that better? 538 00:21:40,519 --> 00:21:42,679 Yeah. That side's fine. 539 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:44,279 Just hit the left side. 540 00:21:44,319 --> 00:21:46,359 Ow. The left side. My left. 541 00:21:46,399 --> 00:21:48,439 - Mm! - My left! 542 00:21:48,479 --> 00:21:50,079 Ow. 543 00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:55,019 No. I know what you're thinking, 544 00:21:55,059 --> 00:21:56,109 but it's just better for everybody 545 00:21:56,139 --> 00:21:58,359 - if I just finish this off. - Ow. 546 00:21:58,399 --> 00:22:00,039 Ow. 547 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,559 Oh. Oh, God. 548 00:22:09,599 --> 00:22:12,039 That's Sam up there in the queue. 549 00:22:12,079 --> 00:22:13,599 - You serious? - Yeah. 550 00:22:13,639 --> 00:22:15,359 I don't want her to see me. 551 00:22:15,399 --> 00:22:16,519 Why? 552 00:22:16,559 --> 00:22:17,919 Because I'm embarrassed. 553 00:22:17,959 --> 00:22:19,399 You're embarrassed? 554 00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:21,289 She's the one who should be embarrassed. 555 00:22:21,369 --> 00:22:22,484 What are you doing? 556 00:22:22,524 --> 00:22:23,809 I'm going to tell her what I think of her. 557 00:22:23,819 --> 00:22:25,799 No, don't do that. God. 558 00:22:25,839 --> 00:22:27,149 Okay, do. 559 00:22:29,279 --> 00:22:33,439 Hi. I'm Rob Norris, Sharon Morris' husband. 560 00:22:33,479 --> 00:22:35,719 - What's your address? - Sorry? 561 00:22:35,759 --> 00:22:36,799 Home or office, I don't care. 562 00:22:36,839 --> 00:22:37,999 Why do you want to know? 563 00:22:38,039 --> 00:22:39,109 I'm not going to come around. 564 00:22:39,159 --> 00:22:41,479 I want to mail you an etiquette book, you cold sore. 565 00:22:41,519 --> 00:22:43,639 Why wouldn't you want to hang out with my wife? 566 00:22:43,679 --> 00:22:44,919 Do you know how funny she is? 567 00:22:44,959 --> 00:22:47,079 Do you know how smart she is? 568 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,599 She's going to have to explain this movie to me after we see it. 569 00:22:49,639 --> 00:22:51,799 I won't get it. She's a teacher. 570 00:22:51,839 --> 00:22:54,409 - What do you do? - Why do you even care? 571 00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:57,279 She told me you work at an organic dog food company. 572 00:22:57,319 --> 00:22:59,119 - Nice! - Seriously-- 573 00:22:59,159 --> 00:23:01,359 What about you? What are you, a chiropractor? 574 00:23:01,399 --> 00:23:03,879 - A financial guy? - I'm an architect. 575 00:23:03,919 --> 00:23:05,719 I bet you are. 576 00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,359 What movie are you queueing for? 577 00:23:07,389 --> 00:23:08,479 The Winter Song. 578 00:23:08,519 --> 00:23:10,399 Jake Gyllenhaal gets hit by a bus 579 00:23:10,439 --> 00:23:12,039 and winds up in a wheelchair. 580 00:23:12,079 --> 00:23:13,759 Rosamund Pike leaves him for his brother, 581 00:23:13,799 --> 00:23:16,319 and he kills himself. Boom. Fuck you. 582 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,119 That's £30 plus baby-sitter money in the trash. 583 00:23:19,169 --> 00:23:20,619 For fuck's sake. 584 00:23:20,689 --> 00:23:22,159 I'm sorry.